A Tale of Too Many Hobbies

Yep, too many hobbies. I didn’t even know that was a thing until I become a mother, because honestly it had never really become an issue since I was grown, my time was (mostly) mine, and I did what I wanted mostly when I wanted. Parenting is NOT LIKE THIS. Even Netflix (which barely qualifies as a hobby) is frequently commandeered by my two year old tyrant/toddler to incessant whiney/cries of "Biiiipppiiiii". But, before we (I) get ahead of ourselves, let’s make sure we are on the same page here and consult Word WallE for adults (Merriam Webster.com).

Hobby: a pursuit outside one's regular occupation engaged in especially for relaxation

Well, this one is OK but I prefer Cambridge’s version which says….

An activity that you do for pleasure when you are not working.

This seems more inclusive since I’d argue many hobbies are not relaxing at all. You can do something for pleasure without being relaxed, working out for example. I wouldn’t consider running out of breath or muscle cramping particularly relaxing. Also, interestingly enough, I would not have counted Netflix consumption as a hobby, but for the word powers that be….clearly it does. No one is paying me to watch it, I (try to) do it outside my regular occupation for relaxation AND pleasure so BOOM! I guess it counts as a hobby.

So… in no particular order, here are things I consider to be my ‘hobbies’

1. Reading (books and online blogs)

2. Working out

3. Sewing/Embroidery

4. Walking Outdoors

5. Internet research

6. Crafting/Pinteresty things

7. Writing

8. Halfway homesteading

9. Netflix

10. Bargain Shopping

11. Going to the Lake

12. Going to church/ Bible Study

13. Providing Toddler Entertainment

So, while this may not seem like all that much, keep in mind this is ON TOP of things I view as obligations that other people find enjoyment in like cooking, buying groceries (gag), cleaning/tidying. It also doesn’t include relational activities that are both a pleasure and non-negotiable like spending time with the Hubs and the kiddos. I still have to cook and do laundry and all that pretty much daily. Of this list, I manage to get around to 4-5 of them semi-regularly. Working out only happens because my company blesses us with an on-site gym, and I thank the Lord for that!

Because I am very idealistically foolish more often than not, I thought early parenthood would be a great time to learn to embroider, smock, AND sew and it many ways it made sense. I had a cute kid to make tiny clothes for and embroider and it would save money etc etc. I was hooked on the idea of ‘creating’ and bought all the things (used and on sale of course!) and went to it. I relentlessly bugged my wonderful friend and mentor until she taught me all of these and became reasonably proficient and even made a gaggle of items for both my family and as gifts.

Then, I had a second child. And oh I tried. I tried SO HARD to make time for sewing in his early months, and even started several outfits…..which I never finished. And now he has outgrown them, they are too amateurish to sell, so they are collecting dust to my dismay. By the time I get home from work, provide sustenance, walk the dog and play with children….there just is no time left for sewing. Not if I want to sleep, at least. And for many, many reasons sleep is non-negotiable for me at this time.

I had this beautiful craft room I was so proud of. I designed both an embroidery and sewing station and collected large amounts of fabric and scraps, all of which is calling my name. And there are SO. Many. Feelings. about this. There is guilt in buying the items and not using them (YET). There is disappointment in dreams and plans unrealized (YET). There is frustration in having the desire to create lie unfulfilled (YET).

You may have noticed my YETs. Young child motherhood is a unique land of demanding babes and little sleep. Of exhaustion and schedules and upset plans. I have to continually remind myself that I will regret missed bonding and learning moments with my children more than I will miss making them outfits, because I am one of those people who gets a buzz off “feeling productive”. But like with nearly everything, it’s all about perspective.

So to the family member/wife/mom, who feels their life has no room in the “now” for their hobbies and their dreams, take heart! Now is not always, and there is hope in using YET. You may not be physically fit YET, learned that second language YET, started a blog/non-profit/community movement YET. But you still may, and the future is SO FULL OF PROMISE. Hold on to this hope, and don’t miss out on the wonder and glory of the present in longing for the future <3 .

I have had to set aside SO MANY activities due to mostly time and occasionally budgetary constraints. At least half of the above list consistently gets purged. Like my pre-motherhood abdominal muscles, I like to think these interests are simply lying dormant and waiting for when they can break free and be enjoyed. One day, God willing, both my kids and I will sleep more, lending me more energy for these hobbies. Or maybe my creative desires and interests will change over time, and I will seek other pursuits. I honestly have no idea what my interests will be in 5-10 years, they may look very different from this list. And that’s OK too. It’s OK if you can’t “do all the things” now. It’s OK if you can’t ever do them. It’s OK if you have no desire or calling to do them. I promise your value does not lie in how many hobbies you have or how productive you are in your ‘spare time’. God looks at the intent of the heart and gives us all grace, and so should we try as well.

Love, Charis